Self-Love. Why is self-love important?

You might ask. For most of us, it may seem like a luxury rather than a necessity. Ironically, it is more important than you may think. We were raised to believe that we all need to strive for perfection and are usually very hard on ourselves. We are beating ourselves up for every mistake we make each day, and it gradually chips away at our sense of self-worth.

I shouldn’t have eaten this pizza, I should spend more time with kids, I should have gotten up earlier for work, I shouldn’t have spent that much money on my trainer or gym membership etc. As a result, we get anxious, irritated, and sometimes depressed. But we all deserve better than this. I remember when I bought my first convertible car I felt somewhat guilty.

A car should be just to take you from point A to B I thought. But, having a red convertible was my dream since I was a teenage girl and nothing is impossible in America. On my home from the dealership, I called my Dad and told him about my purchase, and also about how I felt about it: too expensive, unnecessary luxury, probably should’ve saved money toward retirement.

My Dad said: Don’t feel guilty, life is too short, that’s why you go to work every day, and you deserve it. You will enjoy this car every day for many years. Since I suddenly got approval, my feeling of guilt was lifted, and I relaxed. I was filled with happiness from my big new purchase. But we don’t always have someone to make us feel good about a possible mistake that we think we made. Because of this, we need to work on looking at things differently. It all starts with self-love.

We are born with the right to self-love. Happiness isn’t something we are entitled to, and most of the time we need to work hard to earn it. Running marathons next to a blind runner, a cancer survivor, an amputee, an 80-year-old senior made me appreciate my age, my health, and having two feet to run on. I am happy to wake up with limited pain and put both feet down on the floor.

For me, that’s already a good reason to be happy. I learned to love my body and I appreciate every part of it. I do yoga to connect my mind with my body and find that perfect balance. I get regular massages because it is an investment in my future health, preventive maintenance for my body and muscles. I do cross-words and learn new languages to keep my memory sharp. Sleep is crucial, it’s a basis for our health, so I don’t feel bad having to leave a party to go to bed early or sleeping in when I can. I only have one body to use for the rest of my life and I need to take care of it.

I don’t want to get sick and be a burden for my family, I want to live long and be able to help others as long as I can. I learned how not to get stressed about the small things. I simply ask myself: will it matter 6 months? For the most part, it won’t. There is always a plan B. You can warm up leftovers, or you can order in, you can excel at another work project or find another job, have an enjoyable fun experience with a friend — it will all work out.

But I am not losing my precious sleep or getting all stressed out about something that is not life-changing. Going for a ride in my convertible, listening to good music, practicing yoga, doing guided meditation, having a massage, having hot tea while watching the sunset brings my happiness back and restores my balance.

You can only commit to your future, not your past. And today you are building a base for your tomorrow. After all, if everyone who you love in your life today is gone, who do you have left to love? Only you.

Personal Wellness Coach Nika Helge

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